Girls, girls, girls.. we need to talk.

JUST because you say “yes, I’ll marry you”, doesn’t mean you should follow through with it at all costs. No, not even after a lot of the planning is done, dates are set and everyone is expecting it.

If things are going badly, you sense trouble or are experiencing trouble, delay! Or step back somehow.

You are ONLY hurting yourself if you go forward for others outside of the relationship.. and if you do follow through and have kids.. and THEN decide that it’s not going to work (which you suspected it might not before you got married..).. well, there’s a life full of trouble there on out.

I’m not just saying this to say this. I’m saying it because I’ve seen friends go through it.. even had a girl years ago I dated, she left me.. hooked up with another guy.. they had wedding planned in a few months.. and next thing I knew she was seeing me for a short while because she was having doubts.

They got married anyway.. and had a kid.. and divorced.

I see one of my wife’s friends right now going down the same, exact path. She’s getting married too fast. My wife is seeing problems (not sure if the one getting married sees all of them OR would admit it right now, but they are there..)..

I hate to say it, but I wonder when they get divorced? Bets?

There are so many excuses to keep going.. it’s easier is probably the biggest. You don’t want to disappoint people is another.. and so on.

But really, PLEASE, step back.. take a break and think about what you are doing.

The divorce rate is high enough; don’t become a statistic.

-Joe Taylor

I am very sure that there seems to be a bit of a crisis in staying faithful to your spouse. Tiger.. now Jesse. So many in the past and so many that are probably as you read this cheating.. famous and non-famous.

I realize there are way many more temptations for stars and the famous in general. When you can have anything you want, are surrounded by those that will help you get those things and keep those things under rap and you can get away with it, it’s a dangerous mix.. I’m not going to be so self-righteous to say I could be strong. I would hope so though!!

Call me old fashioned, but I believe in loyalty. I believe that once you have committed, through marriage, to one person, that’s it.. you’re done. And if you do slip up, you better be quick to confess or don’t waste her time and make it worse.. just leave.

Read the rest of this entry…

What do you need out of a relationship? That’s my number one question for you.. because the fact he doesn’t provide you gifts doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t love you. Some guys just have no clue or are self-absorbed. Some are just the way they are even if they are madly in love.

Maybe that’s what he saw his Father do for his Mother.. nothing. And that’s normal for him. Many of our habits we learn young.

But, yes, you do have to consider if this person is really committed to your relationship and if he really, truly is madly in love. Because you shouldn’t settle for anything else! There are lots and lots of guys out there. There is no reason to settle or to get comfortable just so you have one.

My wife had a friend who has been with a guy for 3-4 years. He’s terrible at gift giving! And it’s not even that he doesn’t know he needs to give a gift at least on birthdays, anniversaries and other holidays, but he finds lazy things to do or things that require him to do nothing extra.

He was even fixing her bathroom and said this would be her gift. He’s completely skipped giving her anything on some holidays; even a card.

But she stays with him.. from what I see, she’s in love with him. But does that mean he’s in love with her? They don’t live together.. he does things to upset her all the time. Doesn’t include her in things..

But she stays with him..

Ultimately THAT is a personal choice. And obviously something is keeping her with him; maybe he’s good in bed. Maybe she doesn’t think she can do better. Maybe something is better than being alone for her.

Gift giving is important in my opinion. Even for non-occasions. A guy surprising their gal with gifts.. just to show he cares. That’s classy. That’s someone that loves someone deeply.

And that’s what it boils down to. If this person isn’t providing you gifts and doesn’t focus on YOU.. is self-absorbed, not with the program or relationship.. maybe you’re wasting your time?

Maybe it’s time to talk about this issue. If talking about it doesn’t help, then it’s time to pull out the marriage and/or do you wanna have kids card? Or say, as I’ve heard my wife say about her friends boyfriends.. sh*t or get off the pot.

-Joe Taylor