Guys, I’m confident that these traits:

• Confidence
• Calmness
• And Coolness

…Are outstanding if you are seeking women – dating. If you want to improve your chances with a woman and you want to have more success in your first dates and future relationships, working on these 3 things can have a huge impact on your effectiveness.

Confidence when mastered will be written all over your face and your words. Don’t be wishy washy.. don’t be unsure about the things you are doing or your life in general. Know where you’re going, know what you’re doing and make that obvious in your words and actions. Learn to hide hints of having lack of confidence.. even when you aren’t 100% confident; act like you are.

Calmness.. no one, especially when they first meet them, wants someone too hyper or exciteable. Ease into the conversation and reveal the calm side of your personality first.. let lose as you get to know the girl more over time. Some won’t mind, but this will turn a lot of girls off if on your first date you are nuts. Chill out.. slow down. Be calm.

And be Cool and Collected. Don’t worry about stuff and don’t talk like you are. This ties in with confidence and calmness. Be strong, sturdy as a rock and show her that you have control of yourself and everything around you; be cool. It doesn’t mean you have to be “The Fonz”, but don’t be Erkel either.

Work on it.. practice in front of the mirror. Become self-conscious of what you say. Even video tape yourself and play it back to see what kind of impression you get. Most of it is going to be obvious. Confidence, calmness and coolness are GREAT traits to achieve.

If you want to be successful with women, it starts by you working on yourself. Becoming a better man is not a bad thing; it’s all positive!

-Joe Taylor

I know someone who for the longest time (since I’ve known her and that’s something like 10 years) didn’t date. She didn’t have a boyfriend. She was busy with work, some charity stuff and whatever else. But never seeked guys or made it a priority.

She’s in her later 30s. Not old.. but the clock is of course ticking if she wants to have kids. …which she does. A family.

The last year, 2009, she decided to try online dating using eHarmony.com. Great! I was happy for her. She finally got up the courage and took control of her love life.

She went on a few dates and it took a few months, but she finally reeled someone special in. Online Dating worked for her! I saw it.. true story.

I believe they hooked up somewhere in the neighborhood of September or early October. She is all worried about getting a ring already! That’s all she talked about the weeks leading up to Christmas.. was she going to get a ring? When will they get married! Obsessed.

I don’t care how in love she ‘thinks’ she is. And I don’t care how well she ‘thinks’ she knows this guy. More time! He’s been married before and has a kid which adds to the need to take things slow..

I met him.. she had to take us out to meet him to see what we thought.. but even though he was a really nice guy, I don’t really ‘know’ him. I can say he’s good looking and seems like a good guy, but in the end, it’s up to the person dating them to really get to know them better.

People can change.. be one way for a few months and then Pow! Different.. or a topic comes up you never really hit on that’s important to you and that changes things. Things can happen. That’s why I believe people need more than a few months before major commitments and life changing decisions.

Why the rush? Yes, the internal clock.. Yes, you can feel so madly in love that you can’t imagine being with anyone else ever again.. but that is no reason to play with something so precious as marriage. I may be old fashioned, but I take marriage pretty seriously. I know things can happen, but they are less likely to if you TAKE YOUR TIME.

Certainly don’t add the pressure of getting married two months in! Right? Am I right?

Even IF it’s love at first site; mellow.. enjoy each other. You have a lifetime.

-Joe Taylor

It’s very easy when you are dating… and dating… and dating… to feel that you may never find the perfect match for you. You may be trying endlessly, but there’s always something that derails. Maybe:

• You’ve been cheated on… I had by several women; and those are just the ones I know about..
• Bad habits like making snorting noises while he (or she!) eats…
• She’s into that Feminine Domination thing.. I know how every guy is scared of that!
• He’s all about me, me, me… Muscles, but no brains.

The list goes on right? Let’s face it, there’s a lot of imperfect people out there!

The good news is all of us are fishing in the same ocean. Some get lucky and find that perfect mate when they are still in High School. But most of us don’t. And by the time most people are deep into their 20s and 30s, they have plenty of good and bad stories to tell.

I did find my soul mate until I was almost 30 years old! Yes, at the time I got lucky, but you know something? I was unlucky many, many times before that. I had dated a LOT of women. Slept with more than my wife likes to hear.

…Some were one night.. some went on for a few years.

But the only reason I finally got to where I am today is because I never gave up. Yes, I hit some low points, but know that you get over those. You CAN move on unless there’s some underlying psychological issue that can’t be resolved or is unattended to.

You will not be Single Forever!

One of the best golfers of all time once said,

“The harder you work, the luckier you get.” ~Gary Player

Same applies to dating and finding that special someone.

They aren’t going to come to you; you have to go after the prize. And you can’t chalk up losers and failures to anything more than you becoming better as a person, better at the game and becoming one step closer to finding that perfect course to play on.

-Joe Taylor