I know someone who for the longest time (since I’ve known her and that’s something like 10 years) didn’t date. She didn’t have a boyfriend. She was busy with work, some charity stuff and whatever else. But never seeked guys or made it a priority.

She’s in her later 30s. Not old.. but the clock is of course ticking if she wants to have kids. …which she does. A family.

The last year, 2009, she decided to try online dating using eHarmony.com. Great! I was happy for her. She finally got up the courage and took control of her love life.

She went on a few dates and it took a few months, but she finally reeled someone special in. Online Dating worked for her! I saw it.. true story.

I believe they hooked up somewhere in the neighborhood of September or early October. She is all worried about getting a ring already! That’s all she talked about the weeks leading up to Christmas.. was she going to get a ring? When will they get married! Obsessed.

I don’t care how in love she ‘thinks’ she is. And I don’t care how well she ‘thinks’ she knows this guy. More time! He’s been married before and has a kid which adds to the need to take things slow..

I met him.. she had to take us out to meet him to see what we thought.. but even though he was a really nice guy, I don’t really ‘know’ him. I can say he’s good looking and seems like a good guy, but in the end, it’s up to the person dating them to really get to know them better.

People can change.. be one way for a few months and then Pow! Different.. or a topic comes up you never really hit on that’s important to you and that changes things. Things can happen. That’s why I believe people need more than a few months before major commitments and life changing decisions.

Why the rush? Yes, the internal clock.. Yes, you can feel so madly in love that you can’t imagine being with anyone else ever again.. but that is no reason to play with something so precious as marriage. I may be old fashioned, but I take marriage pretty seriously. I know things can happen, but they are less likely to if you TAKE YOUR TIME.

Certainly don’t add the pressure of getting married two months in! Right? Am I right?

Even IF it’s love at first site; mellow.. enjoy each other. You have a lifetime.

-Joe Taylor